Monday 30 March 2015

Perspective

So, my council estate is very varied.
The dominant tendency is to WEC (White, European, Christian), and since they arrived on my street first, they tend to disparage the others, be they AM (African, Muslim), MEM (Middle-East, Muslim), or AV (Asian, Varied).
I've know them all for years, and I don't have any issue with the AM, MEM and AV - unlike the WECs, who tend to be disparaging at the first hint of anything different (oddly some MEMs join the WECs to bash the other communities).
Once more, this is one of the things that makes me feel like the Empress of Mars, because I'm not formatted like the bigoted bipeds on my street.
I love it when my neighbours of Vietnamese descent cook Asian dishes (I'm tempted to knock on their door and ask for the recipes).
The African kids aren't troublesome - if you don't treat them like lepers. We say 'Hello!', we smile at one another, and I've never had any issue if any of them.
Basically, the loud bipeds on my street are the ones who are unpleasant and nasty and arrogant (and a happy bunch of nosey busybodies, as well).
The plonkers downstairs have been insufferable with their loud music at night.
But on the other hand, each day, I can also hear the Indian family on my right... Each day, around tea time, I hear them laugh all together for about fifteen minutes; then, they're quiet again. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the beautiful, weird relativity of my life; if we were in the same staircase, I'd be sorely tempted to bake them a cake - for making me smile on the other side of the wall.

Friday 27 March 2015

Haiku Time!



   
   
   
 

 

In the cherry blossom tea, my tears are undetectable.
©Drusilla de Lanor [March, 26th, 2015]

[Recipe] Blueberry Pie

I've found a blueberry provider, so there you go... A first recipe that needs blueberries.

You'll need:
- For the pastry (28cm pie tin):
* 250 g all-purpose flour
* 125 g (room temperature) butter
* 1 pinch of salt
* 50 g caster sugar
* 1 egg
* some water
* some extra flour

- For the fruit filling:
* 450 g blueberries (all riiiiight, I've "just" found a store that sells the frozen variety; they work perfectly)
* 20 cl crème fraiche
* 125 g caster sugar
* 2 tablespoon of all-purpose flour
* 2 eggs
* 1 pinch of salt

*some icing sugar

Pastry:

1 - Put the flour, sugar, and salt in a bowl.

2 - Dice the butter and add it to the dry mix. Either use your fingers or a fork to make the butter and flour mix form a crumble-like dough.

3 - Beat the egg with some water, and add it to the mix. You should get a sticky dough that you'll have to work to get a smooth ball.

4 - Roll the dough onto some parchment paper with flour; it mustn't stick at all. You need a circle big enough for your tin, and the dough should be about 1 centimetre thick at the bottom.
[If you don't have a tin that can be opened, don't forget to place a large band of folded-in-two parchment paper under the paper with your dough so you can get your pie out, and you don't have to cut it in the tin.]

Filling:

1 - Put the crème fraiche, the salt, the sugar, and the sieved flour into a bowl and mix them together.

2 - Beat the eggs, and add them to the bowl, and keep mixing.

3 - Add the blueberries (if you bought them frozen, don't bother defrosting them) and mix.

4 - Pour the filling into the pastry.

Baking:

Put the tin in the (cold, yes) oven, and turn it on (Th. 7, 180° C). Bake for 30 minutes, and lower it to Th. 5 for about five more minutes.
Take the pie out of the oven.
When it's no longer hot, sprinkle icing sugar on top.

Add some vanilla ice-cream and... Tadaaaaa!


[Recipe] Commander Pie (A Fish Pie)

I didn't want to make a Fisherman or an Admiral pie, and so I came up with this idea.

You'll need:
* 200 g fish (I used cod, but adding shrimp or salmon sounds like fun)
* fish stock powder (that's sooo quick)
* a handful of shredded carrots
* a leek, cut thinly
* 2 big mushrooms, cut thinly
* 285 g sweetcorn (medium size tin)
* 3 tablespoon flour
* 1 tablespoon cornflour
* potatoes
* cheese

1 - In 3/4 litre of water put about three or four teaspoon of fish stock powder, and bring that to a boil. Turn the heat to medium-high then.

2 - Add the fish cut into small bits (I use frozen cod that I cut into cubes whilst it's still mostly frozen), and cook it for about five minutes. 



3 - Fish the fish out, and add the leek, carrots, and mushrooms. cook them for about five minutes, as well.



4 - Put the fish back in, and add the corn.



5 - Sieve the flour, and then the cornflour, in, one spoonful at a time. Add some if the sauce doesn't look thick enough.

6 - Put that mix into a dish, and fill half of it. Let it cool (otherwise it's going to react with your mashed potatoes - for the leaky, watery worst).



7 - Peel, cut, and boil enough potatoes to cover the top half of your dish. As you make your mashed potatoes [by the way, feel free to add some butter - I don't, because I don't like the smell of butter with potatoes], add some grated cheese.

8 - Cover the fish/veggie mix with mashed potatoes.



9 - Cover with grated cheese, and put in the oven (Th. 7, about 180°C) for about 15 minutes or until the cheese is grilled.

10 - Enjoy!


Tuesday 17 March 2015

Haiku Time!



   
   
   
   
   


For Love.
There’s a dream in the heart of a rose.
©Drusilla de Lanor [March, 17th, 2015]

Saturday 14 March 2015

Plot Bunnies Hopping from My Classroom

I've been teaching for a few years now, and I noticed that most students manage to remember generic rules if I give them outrageous examples (a few think I'm nuts, but most do remember the strange example, and they associate it with the rule -> success!).

Last week, I wasn't teaching my students any generic rules, but I was talking about art conservation, and I mentioned a documentary about the British Museum, telling them to watch it if they ever spot it on telly or on the net.
And then... Crikey! I don't know where that came from, but I told them about pigments, about the one shade of yellow used by Van Gogh that's turning brown because of a chemical reaction. I went on, talking about the 19th century artists who used crushed mummies to paint, and... plot bunny! 
I told them that it'd be funny if the mummies came back from the dead through the paintings and chased the painters to curse them or kill them.

I quite like this idea.

I don't know where I'm going to use it (on its own, or in a 19th century plot on which I started working months ago), but it's in the plot bunny colony now.
I love it when my students help generate bunnies.

Friday 13 March 2015

Le respect « dû » aux religions

[Note to my non-French-speaking readers, this is going to be a growl about something that was recently said in a TV debate about religions (basically that one must respect religions) - and I do need to growl!]



Je pensais simplement envoyer un tweet, mais, finalement, je suis trop énervée par ce que j'ai entendu dans Mots croisés (émission du 09/03/15).
Ce ne sont pas les positions diverses et variés sur la question des pseudo-religieux ravagés de la théière qui m’a fait faire un double salto arrière, ni même les images des débilos en train de briser des statues millénaires (me donnant quand même envie de leur prendre une masse des mains et de leur éclater les genoux avant de tester la résistance de leurs cranes d’œufs). Non, ce fut d’entendre M. Odon Vallet déclarer : « Je dirai comme le Président Obama et comme le pape François, il faut respecter la liberté d’expression, mais il faut aussi respecter les religions. »
Pardon ? (J’ai été trop bien élevée parce que ce n’est pas du tout ce que j’ai grogné à ma pauvre télé.)
Certes, je comprends que M. Vallet défende son domaine d’activité – et sans doute ses convictions, mais… Non ! Non, non, non et non.
Alors, certes, la laïcité en France n’est certainement pas parfaite ou complète, mais il faut la renforcer, pas la miner en créant une protection spéciale pour les religions (et là, je les mets toutes dans le même panier).
J’ai particulièrement apprécié la référence au Big Boss du Vatican. On parle quand même du catholique-en-chef qui a déclaré que si son fidèle secrétaire disait des choses désobligeantes sur sa maman, il lui collerait son poing dans la figure. Magnifique ! Jésus serait tellement fier (en fait, je le vois bien prendre lui-même le marteau et les clous pour en finir plus vite).
Je ne sais pas ce que le Président Obama a dit exactement, mais quand on voit avec quelle facilité les Adorateurs du Tupperware à couvercle rouge (on a vu plus ridicule. Si, si) peuvent obtenir le statut de religion de ce côté-là de l’océan, je ne me donnerai même pas la peine de chercher la citation.
Nous sommes en 2015, mais certains (bon, d’accord, la plupart selon mes critères) semblent à peine sortis de leurs cavernes. Il serait grand temps de réaliser que chaque individu a, en effet, le droit de croire à Thor, à Bastet ou au Tupperware à couvercle rouge, mais chaque croyant est prié (sans jeu de mot, c’est promis) de ne pas se croire spécial, élu, choisi, béni ; c’est comme ça qu’on fini avec des abrutis avec trois neurones qui sont persuadés d’exécuter la volonté divine (parmi la vaste sélection de divinités et de dieux inventés depuis la sortie des cavernes, il y a de quoi choisir sur cette planète !) et qui, du coup, se croient au dessus de tout (ce qui leur donne le droit de tuer, piller, violer et détruire).
Alors, désolée, mais le reste de l’humanité peut bien croire en n’importe quoi, peu me chaut.
En revanche, et là c’est un point important dans ma liste de règles à suivre, ceux dont la foi est tellement sensible qu’ils ne peuvent pas voir une femme en cheveux et s’exprimant dans une église, un temple, une mosquée, ou qui ne peuvent pas ignorer des caricatures (quitte à publier eux-mêmes des poèmes déclarant que ceux qui font ces caricatures sont des bouffons ou des ânes), là… désolée, mais je n’ai et n’aurai jamais aucun respect pour ces gens-là.
Je suis prête à parier que la plupart des croyants qui se mettent à vociférer n'ont même pas vu ce qu'il dénoncent ; ils s'attaquent au principe d'entrée de jeu. C'est le genre de chose qui me fait penser aux détracteurs de La vie de Brian qui n'avaient pas vu le film (ou qui avaient râté le début !) ou aux pyromanes en herbe qui s'attaquaient au cinémas qui passaient La dernière tentation du Christ. Parce que... Blasphème !!!
Désolée les enfants, mais tant qu'on ne vous enchaîne pas à un fauteuil pour vous forcer à regarder ces horreurs, vous êtes gentiment priés de passer votre chemin et de ne pas vous comporter comme si vous étiez les maîtres du monde (Flash info : ce n'est pas du tout le cas).
Je n’irai pas tuer le chat de compagnie d’un adorateur de Bastet, mais si le fidèle du Tupperware à couvercle rouge vient faire du prosélytisme dans mon appartement et exige que je le respecte et que je me conduise de façon à respecter ses croyances chez moi et dans ma vie de tous les jours, petit un : il peut se brosser, mais à un point que, si nous parlions du chat de l’adorateur de Bastet, il aurait un poil de compétition et petit deux : j’ai un bon rouleau à pâtisserie pour me protéger des crétins arrogants qui veulent se conduire en tyrans domestiques.
Parce que... c’est ça le problème : ce n’est pas une question de respect, c’est une question de manipulation et de pseudo-importance. Or, ces bipèdes religieux, s’ils ne sont pas extrémistes, ont le droit de croire en paix, chez eux, mais il est hors de question de leur concéder un traitement spécial (s’ils sont extrémistes… rouleau à pâtisserie. Point final. Ils n’ont rien de spécial, et il faut reprendre leur dressage à la base).
Je crois que ce qui m’a choqué le plus, c’est que M. Vallet rejette une partie de la faute sur les victimes. C’est tellement banal. C’est tellement faux.
Cette idée que « Il s’est fait attaqué la nuit en banlieue ? Ben, ‘fallait pas traîner là. » ou « Avec une jupe aussi courte, pas étonnant qu’elle ait été violée. » est un tel cliché qu’il est rare de ne pas l’entendre, ce qui rajoute une couche sur une victime qui avait tous les droits de ne pas être battue ou violée… ou n’importe quoi d’autre.

J’aimerais que les terriens se comportent en adultes : si quelqu’un vous énerve ou vous blesse, dites-le lui, et s’il continue, évitez-le comme la peste tout en pensant que c’est un gros crétin des Alpes qui fume la moquette. Si ledit crétin des Alpes continue à en mettre une couche, portez plainte, dénoncez-le sur les réseaux sociaux (ou à sa môman), mais n’allez pas sur son lieu de travail pour le tuer (ces remarques s'appliquent au harcèlement de base, mais les religieux soi-disant hyper-sensibles seront bien aimables de ne pas utiliser cette justification afin d'expliquer leurs réactions épidermiques aux choses qui les dérangent ; je fais de l'allergie à la bêtise, mais je ne dégaine pas le rouleau à pâtisserie à tout va).
M. Dupond a le droit de croire à ce qu’il veut, mais ça ne lui donne pas droit à un traitement spécial.
De même, Mme Durand a bien le droit de ne croire en rien et de ne pas être regardée de haut parce qu’elle n’éprouve pas le besoin de vénérer le divin Tupperware au couvercle rouge.
Je veux bien respecter tout le monde, mais la rue du respect n’est pas à sens unique (pourquoi n’ai-je pas le droit de gravir le Mont Athos ou de découvrir les beautés de Sanjōgatake ? Ah, oui ! Une sombre histoire de genre grammatical qui se permet de me tenir à l'écart pour cette simple justification biologique - ce n'est pas une question de propriété privée, c'est que le videur n'aime pas ma tête).
Alors voilà… on se conduit en adultes, on se respecte (et j’ai le droit d’aller partout sur Terre, parce que c’est autant ma planète que celle du croyant M. Dupont équipé en XY), et on éduque les débilos à marteaux-piqueurs et autres armes et si vraiment ça ne suffit pas, on envoie les andouilles tenir compagnie à Miss Curiosity sur Mars (elle n’a rien fait pour mériter ça, la pauvre).
Le respect se mérite. Et comme l’a dit Mme Rima Karaki (entretien vidéo avec sous-titres en anglais ici) : « Juste une seconde. Ou il y a un respect mutuel, ou la conversation est terminée. » (je suis assez fan de sa réaction ; le cheik était lent, tarabiscoté dans sa réponse, pompeux, arrogant et sexiste. Elle a bien fait de lui couper le sifflet).
Et on arrête de jouer du rouleau à pâtisserie sur les victimes mortes ou à terre. Ça fera avancer le schmilblick (arriver à couper les fonds des débilos, ce serait bien aussi).

Voilà… beauuucoup plus long qu’un tweet… et désolée pour le grognement engendré par une seule petite phrase.

Monday 9 March 2015

The Gullibility of the Standard Dru

'Oh, come on! Show us!'

That's what I heard a few hours ago when I told my own version of the Dursleys that I'd started a new painting.
I wanted to wait to show them my first attempt at a portrait (and in a much different style than what I usually do).
But they sounded so genuinely enthusiastic... I caved and e-mailed them a photo of my current painting project.

You see, I want to believe in goodness, positivity, and decency. And that's when I'm a gullible idiot.

Oh, I'm not going to pretend that I'm about to create a Rembrandt (I wish!), but it doesn't look like a made-in-a-drunken-stupor-inside-a-dark-cave Picasso (on a bad day) either.
Then, it was a real festival:
- It looks nothing like him. 
Yeaaa! Except that I didn't tell you who it was supposed to be, and you've just mentioned his name, so...
- Did you use that trick of yours to draw the portrait? 
Yes, I did.
The thing is, I can draw (no Leonardo here, but I can produce something decent; all the more since this is for fun and I'm not pretending to be a genius), but when I want to be quick... Yep, I came up with a trick. A trick that I told the Dursleys about because I was happy with this trick (and I've since discovered that some pros have something slightly similar, so... So there!). Biiiiiiiiiiig mistake, because now I'm even more a clumsy, ungifted amateur in their heads, and 'Ahahah! Dru's so funny thinking that she's any good, whilst she's only using a stupid trick'.
Oh, and the best:
-Well, it's not finished <insert pregnant pause here>, but he is.
Of course, I had to be reminded of my role-model and hero's death in such a callous way.
Could you twist that blade to your right, please? I think you haven't sliced all of my heart.
I know my voice turned icy, and my DNA-related, cowardly bullies felt bad - for not having the guts to push their little game any further.

Then, they started talking about my birthday. Did they want to know fluffy things about it? Nope. They just wanted to know who, amongst my friends, had forgotten to mention it!
The thing is, there's my legal birthday, which is nice, but not that important on my calendar, and there's... my chosen birthday. You can bet the Muggles don't know about that one!

So, you see, I still cave from time to time because I'd like it to be true that people change, but I'm beginning to think that I should stick to my gun (i.e.: People do not change, improve or become nicer).

When the painting's done, you'll get to see it. My Dursleys? Definitely... Yes... When pigs fly.

Music, Please!

In 1972, Mike Brant was singing Qui saura on French telly...

Sunday 1 March 2015

I Loathe Political Correctness

The blueprint's awesome: 'Let's not be nasty to anyone with hurtful words'.
But in real life, I'd rather say that I'm not very tall instead of stating that I'm vertically-challenged (whoever came up with that expression deserves a good spanking).
When I talk about PC, I tend to say that it's pretending to call a kitten a mighty Dane whilst still thinking that it's not even worth a goldfish - and it's mostly ridiculous.

Now... It can be quite revealing (and that's when my theory that most people using PC fall into the category of those thinking 'I believe the kitten's not worth a goldfish' gets its legs).
Just this afternoon... One title from The Japan Times (I have nothing against them, they're mostly cool, and their reports about whaling and dolphins' slaughters are brave and accurate, but they follow the diktat of PC in journalism) made me growl.
Have a look at this:
Korean-American activist raps Suga’s response to failed lawsuit against ‘comfort woman’ statue [Incidentally, the article's there if you want to read it]

Why am I growling? Well... Korean-American? We're not talking about hybrids (as in 'My dad's a cat, but my mum's a tuna, so I hate water, but I have a fish tail so I have to live in sea water'). We're talking about American citizens who happen to have parents, grandparents or even great-grandparents who, incidentally, came from Korea, settled in the US, and became legal citizens.
This reminds me of the Japanese-American people who were sent to camps in 1942.
This is not a way to acknowledge a rich ancestry. Nope. That's telling people 'Whatever you do, you don't fully belong, and we'll keep reminding you because we don't want your lot here'.
African-American anyone?
You never hear or read British-American, European-American, Swiss-American. You're only yada-yada-American if you're from a minority that's historically recent or still hated by (mostly, but not only) the WASP - those delightful people who emigrated to the Colonies, just like any Korean-American, but who did it last week instead of yesterday (yes, I'm European, and I am making fun of the Colonists who think that a century is a long time).

And then, there's the 'comfort woman' issue. We have archives, we have testimonies, and we have victims and witnesses who are still alive.
Calling these victims 'comfort women' is belittling their ordeal and giving it a cute PC name. That's something that should be avoided (oh, and anyone denying what happened to them had better stop siding with their tormentors, read a few testimonies on the topic and accurate History books, and basically avoid telling me that they were volunteers; they were enslaved to entertain the boys).
There's no beating around the bush: these ladies were forced to become sex slaves. These are terrible words. Sad words, but denial should only be that long river in Africa.

Journalism is coded writing, but things can be more accurate, and a kitten is a kitten, so let's call it a kitten and treat it like a kitten; that would be respect and equality.

*off the soap box again*

Music, Please!

And here's Dance Me to the End of Love, the music video that introduced me to Leonard Cohen (my family seemed to have skipped a good part of the '60s & '70s, music-wise; I caught up at the speed of light).
 

Music, Please!

Here's a version of Leonard Cohen's Ain't No Cure for Love
Another Brave Lion, who's important in my life...