Merci Free !

Free est un très bon fournisseur... tant que vous n'avez pas de problème.

Si vous avez un problème, soudainement la main droite ne sait plus ce que fait le pied gauche (et ça, c'est la version polie et gentille).

Il y a quelques années, le transfo de la Freebox de ma cousine était grillé et il lui a fallu batailler et galérer afin qu'ils lui en envoient un neuf (sans le lui facturer !).

Aujourd'hui... un vrai festival !

Le 17 décembre, alors que Free (d'après ce que nous avons pu comprendre après avoir parlé à plus d'une demie douzaine d'esclaves de la hotline) changeait un serveur, des Russes ont profité d'une faille de sécurité pour voler des centaines de mots de passe (les bidules ne sont pas encryptés puisqu'ils nous arrivent en clair quand on demande leur renvoi par mail).

Du coup, un compte principal de la famille a été bloqué... et c'est là que commence le dialogue de sourds.

Le 17/12/15, le compte est piraté.

Le 18/12, la victime se rend compte qu'il y a un problème, mais comme le message d'erreur indique un problème de serveur, nous patientons.

Le 22/12, ma cousine et moi prenons les choses en main. Le 3244 nous annonce un énorme problème de serveur. Nous patientons encore.

Quelques coups de fils plus tard (plus au service commercial, mais directement au service technique), on nous apprend que le compte a été piraté et donc bloqué.

Que faire ? Depuis le changement de look du site de Free, le compte en question n'apparaît plus sur l'interface de gestion et, là, on nous dit que comme il s'agit d'un compte libre qui n'est pas rattaché à la nouvelle ligne ADSL (Purée ! C'est trop dur de programmer un message d'alerte quand l'e-mail de contact est en mode "électron libre") et comme la personne a déménagé, il faut envoyer une lettre recommandée avec accusé de réception expliquant le problème et deux justificatifs (domicile et identité) - alors que tous les conseillers à qui nous avons parlé peuvent voir l'identité de la victime et l'ancienne et la nouvelle adresse sur leurs ordinateurs (tous !!) - et ils pouvaient tous voir que nous téléphonions de la ligne qui avait un problème. 

Mais non... Il FAUT un courrier postal................

En 2015 (presque 2016 à ce moment-là).................

Pour récupérer un compte e-mail piraté parce que la sécurité de Free sur ses boites mails est pathétique........................

Alors qu'ils n'envoient pas de message d'alerte quand une activité suspecte est constatée sur un compte (enfin, sauf s'ils admettent qu'ils ont été piratés).........................................

Ben voyons !

Presque tous les conseillers ont été soit arrogants ("Mais vous ne comprenez pas, ma p'tite dame") ou encore plus paumés que nous.

Nous avons aussi tenté de contacter le "pied gauche" (le service tout puissant qui peut rétablir la situation - le SEUL service). Alors, je ne sais pas s'il y a juste un gars derrière cette adresse, mais il aura fallu neuf jours (c'est marrant, parce que certaines personnes sont aidées dans la journée) pour qu'on nous dise que le compte allait être débloqué le 01/01/16.

Youpi !

Sauf que... 

Le compte n'est toujours plus visible sur l'interface de gestion.

Que faire ?

Réponse de Free : Ben, un courrier postal avec une lettre expliquant le problème et les justificatifs adéquats. Of course.

Moi et ma cousine : têtes --> mur --> quelques grands coups

Le p'tit gars que ma cousine a eu au téléphone hier (Ah, ben oui, on n'est pas un peu têtues pour des prunes) l'a prise pour une tanche intergalactique de concours : quand une boite envoie du spam (ce que les Russes ont fait), c'est HADOPI qui bloque le compte.

Qui veut m'acheter le Pont Neuf ? Je promets que l'encre de l'acte de propriété sera sèche. Parole de scout (je n'ai jamais été scout).

Et là, aujourd’hui (10/01/16), nous tombons sur un gars qui nous propose d'envoyer la paperasse par... FAX ! Et si on leur téléphone dans la demie-heure après l'envoi du fax, ils pourront faire réapparaître le compte sur l'interface, et là, nous pourrons récupérer le mot de passe changé par les pirates et de nouveau avoir le contrôle du compte.

On va tenter le coup...

... mais s'il nous a prises pour des truites, ça va saigner.

Mise à jour du 21/01/16 :
Nous avons envoyé un fax avec toute la paperasse le 12 dans l'après-midi et comme indiqué par le p'tit gars du dimanche, nous avons téléphoné trente minutes après l'envoi... et une gentille dame nous a dit qu'elle ne pouvait rien faire, que le service qui reçoit les fax allait nous répondre... OK, merci, M'dame...

Alors...
Le fax est soit-disant arrivé illisible ("Renvoyez-nous votre courrier par voie postale, en recommandé, avec AR") et le p'tit gars du dimanche, qui devait nous rappeler le vendredi 15 si le problème n'était toujours pas réglé a disparu dans le cyber-espace. Of course.
Mais, pas de panique, nous renvoyons un n-ième SOS au service tout puissant qui, ô miracle, procède au changement d'adresse, nous demandons le renvoi du mot de passe - par courrier postal puisqu'il s'agit d'un compte principal et........... ça met une semaine à nous envoyer le bidule.
Le mot de passe nous permet de reprendre le contrôle du compte en changeant le mot de passe des Russes (ou changé par Free - 'stère et boules de gommes).
Tout va bien donc.... Heu, ben, non... Au moment de rattacher cette vieille adresse e-mail, le site de Free annonce qu'il existe des comptes secondaires (au pluriel !!!) qu'il faut d'abord rattacher au compte avant de pouvoir faire la même chose avec le compte principal. Ouaip. A un détail près... Quels comptes secondaires ?
Même la hotline de Free est paumée. Ils viennent de refiler notre bébé à un service de niveau supérieur qui va nous téléphoner..................... un jour. Oh, et il faut que ce soit sur un portable (heureusement que j'ai pu prêter le mien à ma cousine qui n'en a pas !!) autrement vous pouvez allez au cœur du Sahara - sans eau.

Nous procéderons à une dernière mise à jour quand le problème sera définitivement réglé et nous posterons cette entrée de parcours du combattant en mode "les procédures de Free sont archaïques et punissent le client, même si Free est en tort".

Mise à jour du 22/01/2016 :
Nous sommes retournées sur la page qui nous avait permis de modifier le mot de passe du compte piraté et là... il y a un truc du genre "afficher vos coordonnées et comptes secondaires". *clic* Et là... Ah! Nous trouvons un compte secondaire. Un compte qui a plus de quinze ans, qui a dû servir cinq minutes et qui n'a plus jamais été utilisé depuis (là, nous avions Hotel California dans la tête : You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave !!).
Nous avons rattaché ce compte fantôme et le compte principal - et le super service de Free n'a toujours pas téléphoné.

Si vous n'avez besoin de rien, vous êtes tout de suite servi. Merci Free !

PS: on les aime bien. Si, si... sauf en cas de problème... où l'usage de poupées vaudou devient carrément tentant.

Imperial Decree #1

Since we are the empress of Mars, we could as well add a few rules to our empire, and share them with you.

You're welcome to adopt them if you ever find them to your taste.

In our world, these decrees will be the Law from the moment we publish them.

Since last year, we've lost too many artists dear to us, and, in one case, our heart will remain broken until our last breath.

We do not need to go visit Bedlam.

We do not need pills or drugs or treatment.

Thank you.

We're not asking anyone to give us permission to grieve in a nutty way (you do whatever you want with your incarnation; we do whatever we want with ours - full stop).

From now on:

Art1. We won't use the past to talk about someone who's no longer on planet Earth if it hurts too much.

In order to feed that illusion:

Art 2. The people who have left us went to a secret island where they're all working on secret projects. These projects will never be available in our lifetime, and therefore these secrets will forever remain mysteries.

I know it's properly barmy (all the more since I'm a nullifidian!), but it's either a secret island with artists working on secret creations or I keep crying the seven seas and all the rivers if I acknowledge the fact that the lights of my heroes are disappearing.

I know they're gone, but my dream/plot bunny/illusion/lie/coping mechanism/security blanket is easier to face... 

They're all working on something big, they share cocktails all together at 7PM as the sun sets on the purest and most beautiful sea in the universe.
Too bad there's no reception and no Internet there, right?

Quick Art News Update

It turns out that my idea for my paintings is very good. However, I completely underestimated the time I'd need to finish just one, and I'm going to need a lot more time to have something to show you here.

The thing is I'm using something that's got one element that's drying very slowly. The first test is looking great; it's fully done, but I can't move it (and even less hang it).

I'll share the unusual "framing" with you as soon as possible (but between chemistry that's not on my side and the weather that's not helping... it'll be a few weeks in fact).

Incompetence or Complete Lack of Respect?

I just cannot decide.

I'm still growling about the hacked e-mail account (check a few of my previous posts - the list's beginning to be too long to add all the links).

I'm monitoring a forum where other victims are sending flares and SOS, and the common theme is that the provider doesn't know what the left foot's doing whilst the right hand is flailing madly... and you get help if you're lucky (there was one gal who got her account back within a day whilst others are still waiting after over a month - and her case was similar to others; she just got lucky!!).

As well, what I particularly love is the tech bipeds who take me for the village idiot when I point out that they have everything they need to know to whom the account belongs on file and it's idiotic to ask for a snail-mail letter to prove what they already have.

They can be patronizing. Some lie, as well (the last one I talked to yesterday afternoon spinned me a lie that I'm not planning to swallow peacefully: I'm phoning them again tomorrow, and I'll be the one serving them that lie to see what someone else will say about it).

Sometimes, they slip and they tell the truth: they were changing a server when hackers used a security gap to steal clients' passwords. Because they store their password without encryption, and because they were hacked, hundreds of customers have lost their primary accounts.

Since that provider only uses one password without any additional security, the hackers could plunder the accounts that are now blocked (or are they?). There's no warning either; the provider sees spam being sent, they block your account; contact the faithful, paying customers?? Nooooo!

Many accounts were created back when that company was starting, and when they expended, they forgot to ask the customers to change the status of these accounts. The provider's new website ignored all these accounts, so when the hacking happened, there was no way to try to get them back, but, hey! It's the customers' fault. They should all have a PhD in IT! Sheesh!!

In the meantime, the helpline bipeds are unhelpful, arrogant, unpleasant, and incompetent, and they lie (I'm not even sure their "Hello!" is sincere).

Yes, that provider is cheap, but when you have a tiny problem (or a big one), you can go frell yourself slowly.

Maybe they work with Big Pharma, and they want us to invest in some strong antidepressant.

What's for sure is that they recruited good lil' golems who obey their masters and who've got a black hole between the ears!

I'm not done with them.

I'm not planning to lose that war... but, fuck! These wankers are a bloody waste of time (and oxygen).

A Spot of Art News

No, not about the plot bunnies. though I can tell you that they're all healthy.

As well, the publishing triumvirate I joined is steadily moving towards the official launch of our business and website (I'll brag about it when everything's online).

Today... I'm here to talk about my paintings.

I'm not about to start working on a new one, but I've found a way to have them ready to hang that doesn't involve a frame...

Mysterious enough?

Are you intrigued?

If you are nodding in front of your screen, thank you. I'll keep you posted, and I'll show you as soon as possible. I started working on one painting, but it'll only be ready to hang about next week.

My idea isn't that extraordinary, but it definitely solved the issues I had with potential frames.

You'll see...

Gibbs-smackworthy

It's only been a day, and I'm not convinced about 2016...

I had to block a denialist on Twitter: it was trying to convince me that even the American soldiers knew that the Korean (and Japanese, as well) girls actually enslaved for sex (for whatever reasons) were just prostitutes. Well, in my book, when you're sold for money, you become a slave.

It's the second time that happens to me. What's frightening is that these illiterate, truth-denying trolls are quite young, and if you confront them with facts, they become aggressive. Swell.

As well, the e-mail saga goes on.

A gal on a forum was told that the provider was hacked (the stored passwords are not encrypted!), but they put the blame on the victims.

We're going to try to find a biped with more than three brain cells between the ears, coz they've got all our info on file, and someone with a brain - and not afraid of using it! - could solve this in two minutes. We got a message informing us that the account would be unblocked ("and please change your password as quickly as possible"), but they deleted that account from the main account page when they modified their website's layout so we can't access it!

Honestly, I want to ship someone in space without a suit.

Hacked! [The "Take Me for a Trout" Edition]

So... after yet another phone call to try to solve the issue mentioned here, I finally talked with someone who admitted that the e-mail account has been hacked.

Since the exact same day, a lot of people have been complaining of the exact same issue, buuuuuuuuut... our provider says that it's our fault. Yea. Of course, the whole lot of us... from the same moment.

When I mentioned the possibility that they had been hacked to the IT bloke, he went "No, Ma'am! That's absolutely impossible!". Yea... but back in September, they had to admit that they'd been targeted. Why wouldn't it be the same this time??? "No, Ma'am! That's absolutely impossible!"

Whatev'.

There's no shame in being targeted by criminals, and since it took them thirteen days to admit that the account had been hacked, I'm not inclined to believe them about the origin of the hacking - sorry, guys!

Now, the next stupidity from them (unless the IT person who's going to read our online SOS/message does not have soup between the ears) is going to be the hopping through loops to get control of the account again. It really looks like DIY à la MacGyver to have to send a registered letter with proof of identity and new address because the "old" account (that they fucking have in their archives as the original e-mail account with the "old" address on file) is not fully linked to the new account. "We've got everything, but we're going to make you suffer whilst we're the ones with two left hands."

I hope to deal with someone with more than three brain cells in the box above its shoulders...

I'll keep you posted...

See you next year! ^_^

Of Internet Plonkers

My family's Internet provider is usually rather good, but for a fortnight, it's been a festival of idiocies.

First, someone called my mother (400 miles away from my flat, with a different name, and a different address) in order to talk about my connection. [Oops 1]

Then, Mother could no longer access her e-mail address (that started on the 17th, and it seems that her mailbox is far from being the only one).

I phoned them several times.

[First try] Girl 1: there's a big issue with a server. The connection will come back.

[Second try - two days later] Boy 1: I don't know what's going on. Send a message to the mail service. 

I did send a message, but since I could see no trace of it on Mother's contact page, I phoned again ->

[Third try] Boy 2: What's your problem? 

I started answering, and he hung up. Frothing at the mouth, I phoned back ->

Boy 3: I can't see your password. I can't tell you if it's been changed (that would have meant that Mother's account had been hacked). If you want me to post you your password, you'll need to send us (by snail mail!!!) a photocopy of a form of ID and of any document proving that your current address is valid because the e-mail address was created when you were living at another address, and it's that one that's still linked to the address.

I blew a fuse.

I told him that he has the "new" (since 2002!) address for the netbox, and he can bloody see the link between the old address (for the e-mail) and the new one (for the netbox and everything else).

I told him that it was a disgrace to have to rely on the post when dealing with an Internet provider (that froze the poor boy on the spot, by the way) and we would not be doing that. He finally suggested that I phone the techs, which is what I did ->

Girl 2: after I explained all the issues, she tried to guide me through the one thing I hadn't tried yet. When that didn't work, she managed to locate the answer from the mail service (that had been sent to the blocked e-mail address - how frigging intelligent), and it turns out that her first colleague was right; they've got a huge server problem.
Or do they? On their forums, they proudly announce that "everything's fine" whilst on other forums you can see dozens and dozens of people complaining (and we know that it's only the tip of the iceberg because not everyone subscribes to a forum to complain (I did not - I just read about their issues).
It seems that many people were hacked, and the provider demands that they explain how they think they got hacked.
Question: if I tell them that I'm convinced that they're the ones who were hacked because all the victims were attacked around the exact same time, are they going to help me?
I'm wasting time because of them, and Mother (I!!!) may have to change her address on quite a few sites if her original address doesn't get e-CPR very quickly.

Fuck! I could bite someone (working for our provider and being a silly plonker).

Too Mild December

Dear decerebrated bipeds,

I know the weather is muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch milder than usual for mid-December, but it'd be nice to realize that you're not on a desert island when you leave the pub at 1 A.M. and you laugh and yell like banshees who caught all their fingers between stones.

As well, if you're driving and you've got your windows open, it'd be a tad nice to lower the sound of your hideous music that's blaring when you stop at a red light. You're not alone. It's quiet(er) music or closed windows, but I don't have to jump when you or your idiot clone stops at the lights below my bedroom window and you car is spilling atrocious music.

Try to behave like a civilized being, not a brainless bacterium.

Thank you.

***************

If it were colder, these plonkers wouldn't be so noisy outside in December!

[Hell, I miss Japan on days like this!]