Fake Definitions: fantabulastounding

Disclaimer: This is obviously a fake definition.Or I'm trying to forge a new word this time...

fantabulastounding

Pronunciation: /fanˈtabjʊləstaʊndɪŋ/

Definition of fantabulastounding

adjective

informal

• most excellent; quite wonderful; absolutely awesome in every way:
  this young lady is really fantabulastounding

Origin:

May, 15th, 2013 (© Dru de Lanor): blend of fantastic and fabulous and astounding.

Fake Definitions: bipedhood

Disclaimer: This is obviously a fake definition.

bipedhood

Pronunciation: /ˈbʌɪpɛdhʊd/

noun

informal

[mass noun]

1 the state of acting like a warranted idiot rather than a human being: Brainless plonkers are extremely good examples of average bipedhood.

• the qualities that can nowadays be associated with stupid specimens of bipeds calling themselves humans, such as stupidity, parasitic behaviour, and complete intolerance: Most of the current nasty things on Earth are due to too many idiots being allowed to give in to their common inner bipedhood. 
• the sad members of the Homo Sapiens /ˌhəʊməʊ ˈsapɪɛnz, ˌhɒməʊ ˈsapɪɛnz/ species as a group: Apart from the fact that it makes the Latin name, 'wise man', look like a pathetic joke, or a blunder, bipedhood is characterised by the fact that its members are utterly incapable of seeing how harmful, bigoted, short-sighted, twisted and generally limited they are. 

2 splendid neologism the condition of being a twat: His bipedhood shows when he attempts to fight against human and civil rights in the 21st century.

 

Origin:
December, 11th, 2012: from Latin bipes, biped- (from bi- 'having two' + pes, ped- 'foot') + -hood

 

Fake Definitions: moronitude

Disclaimer: This is obviously a fake definition.


moronitude

Pronunciation: /ˈmɔːrɒnɪtjuːd/

noun

informal

The annoying behaviour that makes a so-called adult behave like a child, usually on purpose, and sometimes merely in order to annoy other people [Cf.: the origin of moron in early 20^th century, as a medical term denoting an adult with a mental age of about 8–12, from Greek mōron, neuter of mōros, meaning 'foolish']. Sometimes reveals a case of terminal stupidity:

It’s sometimes hard to believe that some people’s moronitude isn’t just a side of their bullying persona; take pro-lifers [/ˈanti tʃɔ̀jsərz/] for example, they sometimes attempt to exorcise the ones they deem possessed. I say, let’s call Bedlam!

Fake Definitions: pro-life

Disclaimer: This is obviously a fake definition.

If you’re a bloke and you disagree, well… sorry, Cupcake, but you’ll be allowed to speak on the topic when you grow the equipment to carry out a pregnancy.

If you’re a gal and you disagree… Oh, Sister! *gives you a coin* Here, 50p, to go buy yourself a brain. Keep the change.

And, yes, I’m particularly proud of the phonetic transcription on this one.

pro-life

Pronunciation: /ˈanti tʃɔɪs/

adjective

1. Severe medical condition that prompts its object to shove his (sometimes her) beliefs down the throats of others. Usually a biped with that condition will resort to lie and deceit (the most severe forms lead to violence and criminal activities). The condition is mostly associated with massive religious ideas (that the other people might have different values – or no religion at all – is irrelevant to the ones having that condition, for they think they have the right to act as they do):

Using vaginal probes on sluts who want to have an abortion is perfectly reasonable. They must be publicly shamed for being equipped to carry out a pregnancy. Believe me, I should know, I’m pro-life.

2. Smokescreen that allows people to not care about what happens to a foetus once its born and needs love (i.e: adoptions deemed unconventional are prevented) and money (i.e.: poor parents aren’t helped – much, for they are “sinners”):       

I’m pro-life, but if these harlots kept their legs closed, we wouldn’t have to veto gay adoptions.

3. Philosophy that pretends to care about women when the sole aim is to bully them into submission. A predicted aim is to try to enslave women and make sure that they no longer have any right (slow process from a very patient kind of crowd):

It’s clearly a kind, pro-life measure to limit women’s choices. They don’t have clear minds and can’t make their own choices.

4. State of utter lack of charity that makes someone think he, or she, can decide that someone who’s dying has to keep suffering – even if the person’s begging to be allowed to end it all:

My G*d says it’s wrong – and He’s pro-life! I don’t care if the patient is living such hell that the screams are heard throughout the hospital. We can’t have people making choices about their own bodies!

Fake Definitions: twatectomy

Disclaimer: This is obviously a fake definition.

twatectomy

Pronunciation: /twɒtɛktəmi, twatɛktəmi/

noun (plural twatectomies)

A necessary operation to remove an utter plonker:

My allergy to stupidity was dangerously spiking up; I had to do a quick twatectomy.