Empress of Mars

A few months ago, I added to my official bio on Twitter "Empress of Mars".

I'd said that I'd explain why, and tonight's absolutely perfect.

I chose that title to somehow replace 'I've got a bridge to sell you, and I can get you a good price on the Tower, too' because I get to read soooo many things that make me think that 'If you're ready to believe that, then I've got a bridge to sell you', and the bridge-selling turned into a pseudo-claim on a neighbouring planet...

And so, now it's 'If you believe that, I'm the Empress of Mars'.

However, my title keeps expanding... unfortunately, and that's mostly because I feel more and more as if I'm not from Earth.

Just tonight, I was watching the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony online. I was listening to it through earphones coz... it's night here, and I already felt bad for giggling so loudly.

And then... I heard music.

Music that wasn't coming from the ceremony... 

I took the earphones off, and the din seemed to be coming from... Guess where? Yes, of course, the restaurant downstairs. And yet, since the sound also seemed to come from upstairs, I went downstairs, in the courtyard, in order to check who was the actual culprit.

The restaurant was the culprit. There was loud music, and people shouting like banshees with their dominant fingers caught in a heavy door.

I went back up, phoned the restaurant, and... a man answered (Miracle!), and the poor bunny had a hard time hearing me because there were patrons celebrating a birthday.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. 

Pardon my French, but... Bloody bollocking hell! Do these bipeds think they're alone on the fucking planet?

The bloke got the banshees under control pretty quickly, but I shouldn't have to keep complaining.

Tomorrow... I'll try to reach the owner of that despicable place, and I'll ask him if he thinks it's normal to hear banshees several stories above his place whilst listening to YouTube on earphones. 

He'll probably apologize, but why do I have to take time to remind him to behave like a human being? Oh, yes, because I wasn't raised in a barn. It's either that or I'm really the Empress of Mars, and I need to go back to my planet to not blow a fuse because of banshees...

Dru,

Empress of Mars (currently living above arrogant plonkers who think they own the planet)