Friday, 11 November 2016

Literary News

Strangely enough, we, at Éditions Aikyō, are currently editing a lovely book, full of entertaining short stories, and in one of them, there's a brief mention of a female POTUS (as if it had happened in the election before the one that just happened). We're planning to write a barmy, tongue-in-cheek summary to promote that book, and since Wednesday morning, the author, our friend DeForest suggested that we insist on the fantasy/science-fiction side of some of his stories. I think he's got a point...

On my side, I'm busy editing Muff&Sherly 2, and I'm finishing the third novel in that universe.
I'm also still planning the plots for my Victorian spy story, and modern spy plots.

Whilst my cousin and Usagi are busy gathering info so that they can write a few prefaces we're going to need for a few books we've decided to add to our catalogue, I'm also editing a version of Shakespeare's Sonnets (from the first printing, with the original spelling, and with a modern version of each sonnet, too).

As well, we will have an edition of Oscar Wilde's Salomé (from the 1893 edition in French). Now... huge question: most published translations of that play into English are based either on the faulty version committed by Oscar's lover, or on the one where corrections were attempted after Oscar's death by one of his close friends. Both allow a grammatical mistake in English in... the very first line - and neither is close enough to the original text in French. 
I never planned that, but... I'm tempted to translate it myself. So...How nutty am I?
Let me show you what bothers me:
From 1894 ->

SCENE
[A great terrace in the Palace of Herod, set about the banqueting hall. Some soldiers are leaning over the balcony. To the right there is a gigantic staircase, to the left, at the back, an old cistern surrounded by a wall of green bronze. The moon is shining very brightly.]

THE YOUNG SYRIAN: How beautiful is the Princess Salome to-night!

THE PAGE OF HERODIAS: Look at the moon. How strange the moon seems! She is like a woman rising from the tomb. She is like a dead woman. One might fancy she was looking for dead things.

From 1912 ->

SCENE
[A great terrace in the Palace of Herod, set above the banqueting-hall Some soldiers are leaning over the balcony. To the right there is a gigantic staircase, to the left, at the back, an old cistern surrounded by a wall of green bronze. Moonlight.]

THE YOUNG SYRIAN: How beautiful is the Princess Salome to-night !

THE PAGE OF HERODIAS: Look at the moon ! How strange the moon seems ! She is like a woman rising from a tomb. She is like a dead woman. You would fancy she was looking for dead things.


And here's what I would do:

SCENE
[A huge terrace in the palace of Herod, overlooking the banqueting hall. A few soldiers are leaning over the balustrade. To the right, there's an impressive staircase. To the left, at the back, an old cistern surrounded by a patinated bronze wall. Moonlight.]

THE YOUNG SYRIAN: How beautiful is Princess Salomé tonight!

THE PAGE OF HERODIAS: Look at the moon. The moon looks very strange. She looks like a woman leaving a tomb. She seems like a dead woman. One might think that she’s looking for dead people.
 

So?

2 comments:

Ruan Peat said...

This is a work I am not familiar with so can only say I like the third as a much more readable version, more in the modern language, if it is to be translated make it worth reading! :-) I love Sonnets so I will be looking out for them :-) do put links up when your ready...
I would think if you were doing a 'new' version then you want it to be new! a new translation or a new layout or...
Your world sounds exciting!

Lanor said...

*curtseys* Thank you! I'm glad you find my translation better.
I got interested in Salomé because Oscar Wilde wrote it in French, and I thought it was fun. The more I learn about it, the more fascinating it is.
There is a need for a better translation, and... I'm going to do it. ^_^

I'll show you the Sonnets as soon as we're done with them (right now, our main "problem" is the size; we'd like an in-quarto with the original and modern versions of each sonnet on one page, but the modern one ends up being the size of footnotes, and we fear it might be too small for some readers ô.O We'll have to print tests and find Guinea pigs... er... testers).

The plot bunnies are healthy.
Work news aren't as nice, alas. ;_;