Sunday, 10 April 2016

Who Wrote THAT?!!! [Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders s01e05]

I am not going to do a full necropsy of the plot (like I did for this unfortunate episode of NCIS), but too many things bugged me, and I need to growl.

When I read about the idea for this series, I was quite happy, and the casting's really fantastic.
The first episodes were rather nice (even if the studio "make-up" for the lots during the few outdoor scenes can be somewhat clumsy), but when they gave us an episode in "Paris", I started growling from the start.

Spoilers from now on, and I'll just make a list of the things that need work (Oh, and yes, I would do better, because I avoid clichés, and I always do my homework. Ta. Muchly.).

- Stop showing massive landmarks like the Eiffel Tower or the Champs-Élysées. Have "Paris" written on screen and go for something more original.

- Stop using accordion music. In everything that's supposed to be French. Always.
Do you know where one can listen to accordion music in France? In places that are tourists' traps because the (non-native!) musicians know that this is what tourists are expecting.
Accordion music is a bloody cliché.

- Stop using songs by Joséphine Baker or Edith Piaf.
CLICHÉ!!! (Oh, and there's good French music that was released... since the end of WWII - sheesh!)

- Stop using that bridge in Los Angeles. You know, the one that's so conveniently right behind the studios. It's supposed to be approximately all over the world.
You can't afford to travel, we understand, but that bridge is becoming ridiculous. Find something else.

 - Hire French people to play French characters.
Some in the cast were okay, but others would have made me die with laughter (if it were not so pathetic) the moment they spoke and pretended to be French.

- If you're going to show something written in French, don't use the Internet to translate it from English.
I didn't read everything that was supposed to be in the French ME's report, but I did catch a "femelle" translating "female". Sorry, guys, but "femelle" is for a non-human animal; it should have been "femme".

I know it's just telly, but that series could be a good way to educate people about other places, cultures, and traditions. 
If the writers don't do any research and listen to their grandads' souvenirs of their time in Paris in 1945, the festival of cliché is no longer a surprise - but it's a pity.

The conclusion that Paris is a lovely city was cute, but some other things leave a nasty condescending taste around.


Expect a potential additional growl when they go to London... and other places I know.

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