Attempts at Customizing Windows 8 (& a Write-up - with a Growl on the Side)

Most certainly because of a defective fan, my motherboard fried last December, and so I kissed my Windows 7 PC goodbye.

I need a PC for work, so I bought a new one.

My options? Well, any brand I wanted... with Windows 8. No other frigging choice.

A- Thanks a bunch, happy plonkers!

B- Note to people working for Microsoft: always run away from me, I'm a disappointed customer (understatement of the millennium!).

I'm not too bad with computers, and up to last December, it had taken me about two days to customize my computers (95, ME, XP, and 7).

With the new one? That bloody piece of ill-conceived blob is still hiccoughing (weeks after I got it!).

I had to go hunt for things to make the PC workable - *cough* sorta - so I decided to write this post in order to help fellow victims.

Create a restore point before each change, or you may have nasty surprises. That OS is highly unstable and madder than a barmy hatter!

First, no more Classic Menu in 8 (because who needs that when you've got fashionable Metro Start Page? Well, anyone without a bloody touch screen and who's not a teen or an IT fashion victim? Yes, I am going to growl a lot in this post because I'm doing an engineer's work, and not everything is doing what I want. Pretty scam, boys).

I downloaded Classic Shell, and it really does the job. Download, install, and you can customize it quite easily: right-click on the Start button, and choose Parameters.

Since we are now blessed with the Metro nightmare, Microthingy decided that the gadget had to go on the desktop. Since Classic Shell allows you to bypass Metro, you can download 8gadgetpack (I've read some comments saying that this might not be stable, but I've had no issues. Now... make your own choices.

If you want to change the look of icons, you're going to need to download Types. you'll have to change all associations, but it's well worth it.

By then, you'll want to drag your mouse to the right side of the screen in order to wake up the charm bar. Click Parameters and Customization. This is were you'll start crying: Microthingy has decided for us that being able to change and customize all the colours (as it was still possible in 7, where we could customize everything through the Colours advanced parameters) is no longer an option.

I'd better never meet the twat who made that choice because that was quite stupid.

If you still have access to a computer with Windows 7, you save save and import a Theme (that's what I did), but be warned that 8 makes it crash on a regular basis, and you have to resuscitate your chosen Theme.

Good luck with that one!

As well, I could kiss my Windows Live Photo Gallery screensaver goodbye. Bit tough for a creature of habit like me. There's something in the new beast that refuses to have it work...

Go back to the charm bar, Parameters, and this time click "Change PC settings" (down the menu). There, customize to your heart's content.

Next, the games.

Since you have Metro (*gags*), you're supposed to go play games online.

Sorry, creature of habit, and I'm not the only one... because the solution can be found there. Some people don't trust the patch, but I have no problem with it. Once more, make a choice: ChessTitans or Metro crap. As you like it...

Then, PDF files thumbnails. It could be useful to visit this page.

And then the massive thing that was already annoying with 7, that made hundreds of thousands of patrons growl and complain to Microsoft, and the thing that still needs to be dealt with a "crack": auto arrange that can't be turned off.

The file worked with 7, and it still works with 8.

Full explanation here and magic file there. That change saved my sanity back when Microthingy started blowing a fuse.

One last thing: if you want to install an old programme and your 8 is driving you nuts, right-click and install in compatibility mode (it should work for most programmes).

To conclude, yes, 8 is quicker to start and shut down, but I don't need Metro and its stupid screen.

I'm quite unhappy to have lost the ability to customize all the colours in the OS (sorry, boys and gals, but when you work for hours on a computer, white pages just kill your eyes - and I love my eyes).

Basically, I'd have been happier if I could have bought a new computer with 7, but, oh, no... Microsoft think they know what's best for me. That's dreadful marketing, and I tell everybody to cling to their 7 for as long as possible.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go curse a fried motherboard...

Good luck!

PS: even though I turned Microsoft offers off, from time to time, I still get a message asking me to download 8.1. I'm not going to do that because... Well, I cannot trust the upgrade not to frell my poor computer that's already nutty. If you want to get rid of the notification, try this. I dream of being able to downgrade...