Once upon a time, I could get up early.
First, it was when I was in prep school and in my first years of college; when I had to be in class at 8:30 or 9 am (on the other side of town). And I did it.
Then, it was work. Back when I was in the (not) delightful school that I nicknamed bedlam, I had to be in the suburbs at 8:30 am (that meant getting up at 6 am and leaving home at 7:15 am).
I did it.
If work was not currently blissfully scheduled in the afternoons and evenings, I'd do it again. Because I'm not lazy. I'd be properly knackered, but I'd do it.
The problem is:
a - my classes are all after tea time, so I get home late, have dinner late, prepare my next lesson or mark essays or whatever very late, and then... I edit for work, or I write (this blog, short stories, poems, plays, novels,...). My schedule is afternoon/evening night (let's face it, I seldom go to bed before 3 am).
b - I've developed a delayed sleep phase disorder, and that insomnia's little cousin is a pain in the... neck. Since my nerve froze (see previous post on the topic), my sleep pattern has been utterly mad. I can go to bed at 10 pm if I want; I'll toss and turn until 4 am - at best.
Once I fall asleep, I sleep well, but, for the moment, I go to sleep when the birds wake up... and this brings me to another variety of birds: bipeds who get up at the crack of dawn, look at you as if you were from outer space and think you're lazy idiots for not being caffeinated and ready to embrace the day at 6 am.
I know people who think that "the early bird catches the worm" is the only way to live, and I know that I'm not officially working nights (after all, I could edit and write in the morning, right?).
But... this is the way I am (for the moment, at least).
Am I hurting anyone by getting up at noon or 3pm? No.
Can I do otherwise without slowing down my nerve healing? Probably not.
Am I lucky that my work allows me to do that? Hell, yes! And I know it, ta.
Am I being judged for the way I live? Yes. Just this morning (my morning), a relative woke me up, and I lied about that because I could feel on the phone that I was being judged (side note: according to my relatives, I'm not really ill, so I should just be quiet and be like the rest of the world - their world, not mine).
I could end this by saying: live and let live, but I'll use something that popped into my poor head years ago...
The early bat catches the gnat.
*curtseys & hops off the soap box*
2 comments:
been there and worn that idea, had to start work at 6am for onr job but it was mixed shifts so once a week I had a 6am start! rest 6,30, 7, 7,30 which was a killer!
My current job is 9 until 4.30, and I get people who sneer at me and mutter about people who don't work real hours! I'm sorry but I have no problem! if you have a problem then you solve it, I wont waste brain power even considering your attitude :-) Life is as life is, normal is not as good as special or unique. Enjoy and be proud hunny, just take care of yourself. :-)
Early starts can be terrible! *hugs*
The idea that everybody's got the same kind of schedule (and that anything "different" isn't serious) is extremely annoying.
Nothing is normal and everything is normal...
I'll keep my schedule, but it's true it's much tougher when I'm staying with my relatives... Ach, thank Merlin, I'm Empress of my flat! (note to self: that's a good title) ;)
Thanks for the good vibes!! *hugs*
PS: lovely icon!
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